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Best Man
The role of best man is one of the most important roles of the bridal party. The best man typically proposes a toast at the reception, and he is often in charge of the wedding ring as well. Have a question about choosing a best man or another wedding topic? Be sure and ask our wedding expert, Sharon Naylor. Don't forget to leave your comments at the bottom of this article, too.
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History of the Best Man
Tradition tells us that the best man's role in the wedding party wasn't so peaceful in past centuries. In fact, the best man or best men actually served as a kind of army for the groom. During the first few centuries, grooms often had to kidnap their chosen bride from the bride's family. This might be necessary if the bride's family disapproved of the groom and wouldn't give the bride permission to marry. As you can imagine, the bride's family would not let her go without a fight, and this is how the role of best man came to be. The groom would gather together several of his closest friends to aid him in the procurement of his lady, even if this meant battling her relatives!
The best man's role has continued to evolve throughout the centuries. Even if he didn't have to fight alongside the groom to capture the bride, he was in charge of guarding her throughout the ceremony in the event that a family member or another suitor decided to lay claim to her before the ceremony was completed. Because of this danger, the best man initially stood next to the bride. According to legend, however, a few of the best men made the mistake of becoming too friendly with the bride, and thus, they have been ever after banished to the groom's side instead.
Choosing the Best Man
Choosing the best man is actually a very serious decision, and one that is often not without controversy. There have been hard feelings and even family feuds as the result of the groom's best man pick. Typically, this is because family members either expected to be chosen, or they expected to have some say in the choosing of a best man. While it is very common to see brothers and even fathers take on the role of the best man, this isn't a steadfast rule. In fact, it is much better to consider the role of the best man, and then make a selection based on who would fill the role in the best capacity. While many others may want to put their two cents in regarding the selection of a best man, the decision should remain the groom's.
Responsibilities of the Best Man
Many people assume that the main roles of the best man are to host a great stag party and to look good beside the groom during the ceremony. The role of best man means so much more than that, however, and the many responsibilities that he will be in charge of should be considered before making a final selection. A best man's responsibilities include the following:
- Support-He will give the groom his support and help throughout the planning of the ceremony and of course at the wedding. This will probably include going with the groom to tux fittings and any other necessary duties.
- Stag party-While most of the groom's friends will look forward to this event more than any other event associated with the wedding, the best man needs to ensure that this event is well-organized and safe.
- Rehearsals-The best man will need to be at all of the rehearsals and the rehearsal dinner.
- Toasts-The best man will be responsible for delivering a wedding toast or speech.
- Rings-It is traditionally the best man's responsibility to safeguard the rings until the ceremony.
- Ceremony-The best man will accompany the groom to the church, making sure he arrives ready and on time.
Before you select a best man, be sure that he can fulfill all of these duties and is reliable, responsible, loyal, and trustworthy.