Views
Best Man Speeches
Many men, despite their willingness to support a friend’s or sibling’s wedding, shy away from a traditional duty: best man speeches. Public speaking is one of society’s top phobias, but knowing how to make a proper speech can ease any best man’s mind.
Contents |
Types of Best Man Speeches
There are three main types of speeches the best man may be asked to give:
- Bachelor Party Speeches: These speeches are typically rowdier than most, and may include “guys only” material and jokes that help dispel the mounting tension as the wedding day approaches. These speeches are fairly rare, however, and are likely to be spur-of-the-moment toasts rather than planned monologues.
- Rehearsal Dinner Speeches: Many different people will toast the soon-to-be newlyweds during the wedding rehearsal dinner, and the maid of honor and best man may be asked to contribute. This is still a light-hearted event but not as crass as most bachelor parties, and some mild humor, anecdotes, and jokes are entirely appropriate.
- Wedding Reception Speeches: These are the traditional best man speeches given in front of not only family and friends, but the entire wedding party and guests. These are more formal toasts and should not be contrived at the last minute, and these are the types of speeches that most groomsmen are nervous about. With proper preparation, however, the speech can be meaningful and memorable without causing embarrassment either to the bride and groom or the best man.
Toast and Speech Tips
When giving a formal speech, the best man should remember some basic tips:
- Keep the speech short – no more than 2-3 minutes at most. It may be necessary to time the speech beforehand to be sure it does not ramble.
- Speak loudly and clearly enough that all guests can understand what is being said. For weddings with lengthy guest lists, microphones may be helpful to be heard in a large hall.
- Be sure your appearance is satisfactory when giving the speech, not only to present a decent image, but also for the inevitable photographs. The tuxedo jacket should be buttoned, the tie snug, and posture decent.
- Rehearse the speech before the wedding. Using notes seems ill-prepared and disrespectful: being asked to serve as best man is an honor, and having the speech memorized so it can be delivered without reading or consulting notes honors the couple and the occasion.
- If the speech is a toast (as most are), the champagne glass should be held at chest height while speaking, then lifted to eye height at the conclusion of the speech. It is rude to drain one’s glass after delivering a toast, but taking a sip is customary.
Even with the proper presentation, best man speeches can seem contrived and bland without the proper content.
What to Include
Just as every couple is different, so to is every speech and toast made in their honor different, based on the person delivering the speech. Popular options for best man speeches include:
- An anecdote about how the couple met or how preparations for the momentous occasion progressed.
- A brief connection to why this person is the best man (brother, best friend, the groom was his best man, etc.).
- A welcome for the bride and her family into the groom’s circle.
- An invitation for the bride to seek the best man’s help when dealing with the groom’s foibles, or a lighthearted quip about what she’s gotten herself into.
- Warm, sincere congratulations and wishes for the couple’s ongoing happiness.
What to Avoid
One of the biggest problems with speeches is that some men, when given the spotlight, overreact and may include things in their speeches that are inappropriate. Topics to avoid include:
- Mentions of past relationships or the groom’s previous lack of commitment.
- Ribald or off-color jokes that may be offensive to parents, grandparents, or guests.
- Sexual references about the wedding night or honeymoon.
- Rambling details about one individual without including the other half of the newlywed couple.
- Anecdotes unrelated to the couple or the day’s festivities.
Making it Memorable
The best wedding speeches are heartfelt and sincere, regardless of their length, content, or who delivers them. Best man speeches are often remembered because they are a traditional event of the wedding reception, and by expressing more than casual good wishes to the couple, the best man ensures that his words will be with the new husband and wife long past a sip of champagne. There is no shame for a best man to say he loves and supports the couple, and his toast will be welcomed and appreciated by the couple, bridal party, and guests alike for its authenticity and sincerity.
Giving best man speeches may be a terrifying prospect for some groomsmen, but by knowing what to say, what not to say, and how to properly say it, they can deliver a memorable and meaningful speech that will clearly express their best wishes to the happy couple.