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Grooms' Speeches
Grooms’ speeches are often the most dreaded part of the wedding night for men who are not used to speaking in public. However, with a little help and guidance, any groom can make his family and friends feel welcome and appreciated.
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When to Give Grooms’ Speeches
The groom is expected to give a speech at both the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. The rehearsal dinner speech is much shorter than the wedding speech. The groom will thank everyone (parents, out of town guests, bride, and attendants) for their support and help with the wedding. This can be fairly short and informal, as long as everyone is appropriate thanked.
The main event is the wedding speech, traditionally given after the bride’s father (or parents) speaks and before the best man speech. However, some couples choose to ignore tradition and have the grooms’ speeches at the end of the dinner. No matter when the groom speaks, he should be sure to include certain elements.
Elements of Grooms’ Wedding Speech
Because the groom typically follows the father of the bride, he should be sure to pay homage to her parents. He should thank them for the event, and of course, for giving him their daughter. It is appropriate to compliment the bride at this point. Raising your glass in a toast to the bride’s parents is proper.
The groom should then thank his parents for their continued love, guidance, and support. Emotions may be starting to show. It is okay to take a moment to gather yourself.
Thank the guests for their attendance and support as part of your day. Additionally, thank the people who helped plan and organize the event. You may transition the two smoothly by saying something like, “I’d especially like to thank two of our guests, Sandra Smith and Donna Perry, for their hours of help making our lovely centerpieces and candelabras that are on the reception table.”
You will want to honor your bride and speak about your relationship. You can use any of the following to open with:
- How you met
- Special activities you do together
- Memorable moments in your relationship
- Funny story about your time together planning the wedding
Speak about how your bride makes you feel, and why you love her. Do not forget to thank her for marrying you!
Both the bride’s and groom’s attendants should be thanked for standing up and supporting your marriage. The bridesmaids usually deserve special kudos from the groom for helping his bride plan the wedding day.
The groom can choose to end his speech in several ways. Here are a few options:
- Introduce the best man
- Toast parents again
- Toast bride and kiss her
- Toast his mother (although you should get your new wife’s blessing for this ending)
Speech Style
Grooms’ speeches should reflect their personality and that of the couple. It does not have to be the most memorable speech of the night, but you should not bore people, either. Most grooms incorporate several lighthearted moments with mostly sincere and heartfelt thanks.
To keep your speech from becoming a laundry list of thank-you’s, incorporate small antidotes about each person you thank. A few sentences of what he or she means to you or a small humorous remark can smoothly transition from one section to the next.
Some couples choose to have the bride speak at the wedding reception. If she chooses not to, then the groom should be sure to use “we” instead of “I” when thanking people for the both of them.
Because wedding speeches can be nerve-racking, practice in front of a mirror, or ask your attendants to be your test-audience. They can give you appropriate feedback.